Craig Gore

Craig is the coach men come to when they've outgrown all the other coaches out there. His plain-speaking, no-bullshit approach moves his clients into action, deep purpose, and into alignment with what they really want.

Mike Harris

Mike's a professional coach, former pro poker player, and former corporate finance leader. He's known for his direct and sharp inquiry and pointing men toward greater purpose and self-knowledge.

More from Craig

I know deeply committed men who carry a burden they need to unload.

They have feelings of deep responsibility and shame.

I know GOOD GOOD MEN who have been called toxic by therapists and family members.

I know men who were made to apologize for being a man.

I know men who want to unleash the fire within them, their drive, their anger, their fighting spirit, their power.

I know men who live their lives for their families’ approval, men who have denied their own deep calling for fear of hurting their family lives.

I know men who are called into a much deeper level of service-

And almost without exception I know men whose women are asking them to go deeper.

And they cannot do this work with their wives, their friends, their bosses or employees or coworkers.

Personal development will not touch this depth.

These men need someone to go deeper with them. Someone who they can really trust. Down to the blood.

Brothers who have done the work of further exploration. The work on the inner battlefield.

Just because you look good in the world

Does not mean you are finished.

Does not mean you are resolved.

In fact its the high achiever who often hides the most pain.

The men I work with- need a place to FEEL.

These are strong men who need to unleash.

And in regular everyday life there is no provision for this.

What he may wish you knew-

He hurts. He is not immune to that.

His pain is often violent. You’ve no idea how violent. —No-you don’t.

His love for you may include giving his own life for you if necessary.

He has a little boy in there.

He does care what you think.

His posturing is fear.

He likely wasn’t taught to feel.

He NEEDS to provide.

He feels fear.

Your body comforts him. It’s not because he’s a pig.

He wants your approval.

He tends to take responsibility for your happiness.

He is merciless with himself.

You’re part of his happiness maybe all of it thus far.

He gives ‘til it hurts just like you do.

He needs a place to rest, just like you do.

The ‘divine principle’ that joins all of us-

Said another way -The universal good- that is life itself ,

the principle that governs life…ALL OF LIFE,

WILL NOT BE MOCKED.

You cannot pretend your motive is honest

And get away with something.

Looking good will not last.

Pretending will absolutely cost you something.

You cannot bullshit life.

You betray yourself that way, and others too.

You'll have to look underneath your people pleasing and your fancy words to find out what you REALLY MEAN.

Your deep intelligence knows.

Eventually your life will take your little toys from you and you will have to answer for your understanding of life.

This is GOOD- life unfolds itself perfectly in you. You must learn to use your vast power.

The ‘grace of god’ and forgiveness- such popular terms are that you can ALWAYS FIND THE TRUTH WITHIN YOU AND LIVE BY IT.

It is written in you, and the truth is not relative. It is absolute. It is not subject to your beliefs.

An honest man or woman will not want to get away with something.

He will want to LEARN about himself and life -and to apply it. THIS is real motive. Real honesty.

This purity in my clients, this honesty, always staggers me.

If you want to learn so that you can ‘get this or that’

‘Serve for this or that’

Manipulate things and money and relationships and safety out of the universe-

You will lose that way. And it will hurt.

Come broken if you feel that way, but come honest.

Find your innocent, honest desire and dig in.

Humble yourself. Be taught.

Find your mastery. Life isn’t a fucking magic lantern. Stop demanding. Life does not hear it.

It’s far better than that.

The rewards you receive with your honest motive and application will be past any measure.

A wealth you cannot fathom. And it will bless everyone in range of you.

Busy solving.

Trying to get comfortable. Worshiping comfort.

What’s wrong with me?

What’s wrong with them?

Believing what they tell you.

Reading and reading and reading.

Knowing what you think you know.

‘Getting through this’

Declaring.

All of that, frankly, is avoiding.

Problems give rise to different problems until you realize where every single one of them starts.

Comfort in things and money and people never ever lasts.

Comfort in your beliefs will not last when life requires that you understand yourself. And it will- no matter how strong your beliefs.

Your commitment to your job and your kids and your family and the fulfillment therein, must necessarily take you back to YOU.

If you are trying to make all that better and not looking deep within at your relationship to all that you are to yourself-

Finding the sovereignty life gave you, you will not find lasting fulfillment.

You want to

Want to change all that stuff

want to help ‘them’

Want to be of service

'Change my life'

Trying to get something they don't have.

And what I find is they cannot even be in a conversation with themselves.

They cannot process or be with their own feelings. Learn from them.

They suppress and judge and detest themselves. I can hear it- because I was that.

You do not respect the life you were born with.

When you DECIDE once and for all that you are not going to ignore what happens within you,

Find its purpose and the wisdom hidden there, respect every single thing that arises and look at it with seriousness or respect,

Instead of shrinking from it or hide from it or fixing it or medicating it or believing over the top of it, 'fixing it'-

Your life will change and fill up with wealth and agency and power. And so will every single life you touch.

And all the things you had been trying to ‘learn’ and trying to get from the world -

Were lying in wait inside you waiting to be seen. Covered by all kinds of stuff.

I’m telling you where to FIND what all your knowledge and declarations cover up.

It’s YOU. 

More from Mike

Stop stopping, brother.

There’s no time for that. We need you.

At your most honest. Your fullest.

In this circle I inhabit - call it coaching or personal development or spiritual growth or Being or whatever - dudes just stop. They get a taste of truth, but stop at success.

Business running smoothly. Income rolling in. Sex life rejuvenated. Relationship repaired, sort of.

They’ve become the perfect machine for getting all that. But the same old shit is running in the background.

I’ve seen men with tremendous amounts of untended grief and trauma build great businesses.

Then why do this work? Why look inward even deeper? Why bother?

Because at some point, you become the tension in your life seeking resolution. All those successes cease to matter, feel empty, and no longer serve any high purpose.

Your interior life doesn’t match your exterior life.

Maybe that means constantly tempering your natural ambition with needing approval. I’ve seen that guy in the mirror before myself.

All the tension and suffering that preceded your success comes back. The new circumstances feel just like the old ones.

When you look inward - ALL THE WAY IN, without stopping when some arbitrary condition is reached, you’ll touch down to what you’re really made of.

Kindness, honor, love. Strength, intuitiveness, ingenuity.

At that moment, what’s outside and what’s inside start to match, and your life is sparked by it. There is no achievement that feels better than this.

May you bless us with that.

Her criticism is an invitation.

You might not take it that way.

Maybe you get angry about it. Thinking she doesn’t get you.

Or you shrivel up and back away, go hide, run off somewhere. Because she’s right.

Worst case, you completely alter your entire sense of being to neatly fold in around what you think she wants so that you might please her. Like a good boy.

That’s how it’s always played out. Right and wrong. Good and bad.

And when you respond in this way, you create her as the arbiter of how you should live. Not as a partner. As an arbiter.

You forget that she feels you.

She feels all of it. Your power, your joy, your bravado (guys: she knows when it’s false, too). Your resentment, your fear, your shame, your rage. Your harmony when things are clicking just right between the two of you. Your disconnection and not-presence when they’re not.

She feels you on fire, on purpose and dancing on the edge of infinity in everything you do.

She feels when you’re not on fire, going through the motions, biding your time.

Her criticism is an invitation. It’s an invitation to pull yourself out of the latter and into the former.

To stop dicking around.

To put your heart forward.

To throw yourself at everything, full-on, so she knows you’re ALIVE. Fuck, so YOU know you’re alive.

It matters to her that you’re on fire.

IT. FUCKING. MATTERS. TO. HER. THAT. YOU. ARE. ON. FIRE.

She might tolerate less, and even find the best in wherever you’re at.

But don't convince yourself that she is intoxicated by the 25% version of you or even the 80% version of you.

She knows, and it’s time you knew, too.

And if you’re lucky enough to have someone who makes this invitation to you, you ought to know that it’s not just from her.

The invitation is universal.

It’s a reminder of who you are.

Underneath all the layers.

The armor.

The false bravado.

The self-deprecation.

The pleasing.

The rebelling against nothing but yourself.

The obsession with achievement.

The excuses, the what-ifs, the circumstances, and the stories.

The vices. All of them. Especially that one.

And the rest.

What’s under there, smoldering, waiting to be ignited into an inferno?

What mystery lies in your heart, longing to reveal itself to the world?

It’s in there. You know it. And you can’t hide from it.

It is the most powerful creative force you possess.

Love yourself enough to find it and use ALL of it.

It’s supposed to work, and it doesn’t. That leaves you searching for answers.

The right answers don’t matter when the question is broken.

It starts with a simple desire. Then it morphs. Or more accurately, you morph.

That simple desire - get some money, have a prestigious career, own some nice objects, experience peace, feel better - is loaded up with should and ought to and in order to.

What you become is the perfect machine for getting that desire met. Or manifesting it. Or creating it. Or whatever you say.

It works until it doesn’t.

Then what?

The questions aren’t out there. Ask me how I know.

They live quietly inside you as your truest desires. The ones you set aside before your first gray hair because they weren’t safe or practical or understood by the people whose love and respect and approval you wanted the most.

Beyond material things.

Beyond approval.

Beyond admiration and respect and a ticker-tape parade.

These desires make you feel alive. Maybe you don’t know why. I hope you don’t know why. That’s a good sign. I do this because I don’t know how to not do it, and I tried to avoid it for a long time. Maybe you’ve had that experience, too.

Let them come to the forefront so that you may live from them and nourish the rest of your existence.

It’s not always easy, and it may feel like there’s a steep price sometimes.

And so it goes for something truer.

The payoff is better. A new sense of being alive. Your energy focused, rather than spraying all over the place trying to put out fires and clean up messes. Knowing the goodness in you AS YOU ARE instead of feeling wrong for being a square peg in a world that demands square pegs to fit in round holes.

That’s what you’re really here for.

The conditions of your life are not a series of problems to be solved. It’s mind-blowing when you realize there’s truly nothing to be solved.

Your life is not a bunch of achievements. Your body - not an achievement. Your family - not an achievement. Your relationship - not an achievement. They’re important parts of your life, but not things to treat like achievements.

Your life is a gift. One for you to receive and pay forward through the best of you - your presence, your aliveness, and your gifts.

You owe yourself full access to that life in you.

It might be hard to see that if you’re caught up in the conditions and the achievements and all the places you’re “not achieving enough”. (You’d be shocked how much I hear that one.)

That call to the life within you might be barely noticeable - a slight discomfort you’ve figured out how to ignore for now. Or it might be pounding on the door so loudly you’re going to have to answer it.

One way or the other, you’re going to have to answer. Now or later. Sooner is better. Ask me how I know.

On the other side - joy for the sake of joy. Relationships that WORK. All the stuff you’ve spent your life chasing and achieving and engineering - coming to you naturally.